A White Man's Guide to Dating Asian Girls
Hey, white guys. You probably know by now that having an Asian girlfriend is a rite of passage for all white men. "Date an Asian chick"...
It almost seems like most men fall into either the bad boy or the nice guy category. In my opinion, the ideal man is neither, but walks that fine line between the two. While some women say they want a nice guy, they usually end up dating bad boys. Here's why!
1. Their Personalities Don't Seem Genuine.
Nice guys are too nice. No one can always be that nice unless they're a saint. They are busy being nice instead of being real and women instinctually don't trust that. Bad boys "keep it real." Nice guys don't want to upset the apple cart.
2. They Don't Have Self-Respect!
No one respects a doormat. Nice guys don't set boundaries or make any real demands. A bad boy doesn't let a woman walk all over him or control him. Women can't respect a man they can control. No respect equals no attraction.
3. They're SO Predictable—Which Is Just Boring!
Most people lead boring, predictable lives, so they're attracted to people who are exciting and a bit unpredictable. Bad boys are always a challenge. Nice guys are never a challenge. Predictable plus no excitement plus no challenge equals I prefer a bad boy.
4. Loving A Bad Boy Is In Our Genes.
Women are designed to nurture. However, instead of doing this with children, they often end up doing it with bad boys. They think their love will save them. Nice guys rarely need to be saved.
5. Women Like To Feel Needed.
Nice guys don't usually need "to be fixed". Bad boys usually do, so they become a project. Some women think if they can "create" the perfect man, he will never leave them. Also, if they're busy fixing someone else, they don't have to look at what needs to be fixed in their own lives.
6. Their Sperm Is Weak.
Women are designed to procreate with the strongest possible genes. Bad boys are sending an unconscious message that they have great genes, so they're not afraid of losing the woman by misbehaving. Nice guys are sending a message that they don't think their genes are good enough, so they won't misbehave.
7. They Have A Fear Of intimacy.
If a woman is afraid of intimacy, she subconsciously knows she can avoid it with a bad boy, since she can never get close enough to him to have to go there. A nice guy will eventually want a commitment, and that's scary.
8. They Sometimes Have Low Self-Esteem.
We don't feel comfortable with people who treat us better than we treat ourselves. If you don't think much of yourself, the bad boy is simply reinforcing your negative belief. A nice guy is treating you in a way you're not familiar with.
9. The Sex Isn't As Mind-Blowing.
Women feel a nice guy won't be good in bed. They sometimes like to be manhandled and think a nice guy won't be able to take control and get the job done. A bad boy comes across as being able to deliver, even though that may not always be the case.
10. Bad Boys Are Totally Sexy.
Have you ever seen a bad boy who wasn't hot? I'm sure there are a few, but they wouldn't be able to get away with half the stuff they did if they didn't look so good. Meanwhile, when a woman describes someone as a nice guy, she means, "He's not hot."
11. They Aren't As Charming.
Nice guys don't always know what to say and are sometimes at a loss for words. Bad boys can be very charming and know exactly what women want to hear. However, they eventually switch over to being selfish. By the time they reveal their true colors, the woman has fallen for them and has a hard time letting go.
12. They're Not As Strong Physically.
Historically, men have protected women — physically and otherwise. Bad boys give the illusion of being able to protect women, while with nice guys, women aren't so sure. Life is all about balance. Until men learn how to do that, more often than not, women will choose the bad boy, until they realize that his bad qualities outweigh his good ones.
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10 Tips for Finding True Love and Happiness
In a new book Love for Grown-ups: The Garter Brides’ Guide to Marrying for Life When You’ve Already Got a Life, the Garter Brides (Ann Blumenthal Jacobs, Tish Rabe and Patricia Ryan Lampl), a sisterhood of girlfriends who wore the same garter at their weddings, offers lots of tips for women over 40, including how to meet and marry the man of your dreams, and how to have the life you want and the happiness you deserve! Here are their top ten tips:
1. Leave the past in the past
When you meet someone new, leave any negative feelings or past heartbreaks just where they should be—in the past.
2. You won’t meet someone new in your living room
Well, maybe a cute guy will deliver your new sofa, but chances are you’re going to meet someone by getting out there and trying new things—online dating, taking a class, etc. Tell everyone, especially your married friends, that you’re looking to meet someone and ALWAYS go to parties. Because you truly never know who you’ll meet.
3. Give the guy a chance
When you were 20 your list was “he must be tall, dark and handsome.” Try going against type. It just might be a perfect fit.
4. Look at blind dates like a first date
Two of the authors of our book met their husbands on blind dates, and you can too! If you’re not sure you want to sit in a noisy restaurant, go out and do something fun. One of our Garter Brides went to a baseball game, and she and her date each brought a friend. They had a blast and got married one year later.
5. Time is on your side
Take your time in getting to know your guy and don’t feel in a rush to meet his children or have him meet yours. It starts with the two of you. Make sure this is someone you want in your life.
6. Isn’t it romantic?
Just because you’re meeting the love of your life later in life doesn’t mean you can’t still have passionate, amazing sex! The Garter Brides say “Go for it!”
7. Someone to come home to
When you’re ready to move in together you will discover how wonderful it is to come home to the one you love. Be prepared for some give and take—for example, over which of each others’ belongings stay or go.
8. What’s up with a pre-nup?
Remember that a pre-nup isn’t because you think your marriage isn’t going to work—it’s so you get to decide how your assets and everything you’ve worked for can be protected.
9. Your wedding, your way
Now you’re in love and it’s time to have your wedding exactly how you want it. The Garter Brides have had all kinds of weddings! Remember it is all about you and the man of your dreams. Whatever you want is the way to go.
10. Happily ever after can happen to you
Remember what the Garter Brides always say: “It’s never too late to find true love. We did, and you can too!’
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In days before online dating websites first cropped up, the international dating process looked a little something like this:
Man opens up newspaper or publication, looks for the section about “Mail Order Brides.”
Man writes to potential prospects with his offers.
After a few nerve-wracking months, the mail-order bride’s visa is approved and she goes to live with her new husband in the United States.
No matter whether you were looking to date Chinese women or Filipino women, this old rule of thumb made it possible for the husband-to-be to choose from the very best and beautiful mail-order brides. Most of these women were dreaming of a life in a country where it was possible to achieve success and enjoy a fulfilling life without worrying about running afoul of government or experiencing crippling economic circumstances.
Fast-forward mere years later, and the world of online dating has changed the rules of international dating. Mail order brides as we used to know are long gone and have been replaced by educated, successful, and independent Asian women who are looking for life partners who are able to keep up. This means that competition on the international dating scene has become remarkably fierce, as women are becoming pickier regarding who they want to spend the rest of their lives with.
Just what are some reasons behind this sudden shift in online dating? Take a look for yourself:
The Internet has made it possible for everyone and anyone to indulge in international dating. While there’s a larger pool of international women to date, this also means that you’re facing more competition from men who are interested in dating Asian women.
Once upon a time, mail order brides came from war-torn, economically ravaged countries where women were desperate to find a way out. While there are still some countries out there are still facing these unfortunate terrors, the majority of Asian women who are interested in international dating come from wealthy countries that are experiencing skyrocketed economic growth. This means that, for better or worse, there’s less desperation involved with mail order brides, and they’ve become pickier about life partners as a result.
While there are many other reasons why the old adage of the mail order bride has disappeared along with acid-washed jeans and mullets, it’s important for you to understand how to make the most of the revised international dating scene. After all, it’s a new world out there – and unless you play by the rules, you may not find the life partner you’ve been looking for.
Consider these tips to help increase your chances when dating Filipino women and Chinese women:
Remember that there’s a pool of competition out there for each women on your favorite international dating site. Therefore, resist the urge to email her about why you’re so great. This may have worked on mail order brides, but dating Asian women means you need to appeal to her. Don’t list out your benefits and income like it’s a resume; instead, ask questions about what she likes, enjoys, listens to, watches, etc. Find a way to tie it back to your interests. Asian women will be much more interested in what you have to say, because you’re making the effort to connect with what makes her unique.
Put some time and consideration into your emails. Asian women are becoming much more selective about who they talk to on international dating websites. A simple “hi” or “hello” isn’t going to cut it. Chat to her like you would a long-lost friend you haven’t seen in years.
Don’t assume that you’re golden once she starts writing back to you. Every email encounter is another opportunity to demonstrate why you’re the life partner she’s been dreaming of. Keep connecting with her interests, share funny stories, and keep the conversation flowing. Pretty soon, you’ll be the only email she can’t wait to read.
Keep your chin up. In the time of mail order brides, most men were successful with the first woman they contacted. However, things have changed considerable since the World Wide Web and international dating became entwined. You might strike out with the first woman; you might strike out with ten women. No matter what, keep your chin up and your eyes focused on the prize. You and your future partner are looking for each other, and you will find one another – you just need to keep searching. And remember, each dead-end is a new opportunity to find your life partner.
International dating is more exciting, scintillating and thrilling than ever before.
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